April18_AOC
To say this is my favorite column of the year would be a gross understatement. Technology and how it can make my life easier is just one example of how I’m becoming lazier each and every year, fattening myself up for the rise of the machines. And you should, too. I have a robot vacuuming my floors as we speak. My lights are all operated from an app on my phone, and I can talk to delivery people at my front door through another app, even if I’m 1,000 miles away or sitting on my couch—which is just 15 feet from that door.
A lot of people will tell you that technology will kill us. I say it’s the only thing keeping us from killing ourselves. (Yes, it may be time I speak with a professional.) The convenience that today’s technology offers is making life better for all of us, and if you’re thinking of upgrading your life in Southwest Florida, fun gadgets seem like a reasonable starting place.
I’ve scoured the latest from the world of consumer electronics to find some options that are inching us closer to The Jetsons.
Rem-Fit’s Zeeq Smart Pillow
If you look back through any of the Popular Mechanics magazines of the ’50s and ’60s, you’ll see all manner of promised technology—flying cars, robot maids, full roast beef dinners in a pill—but you’ll never see pillows that could analyze your sleep habits. But now that we’re smack dab in 2018, the Zeeq Smart Pillow is just the thing to help us during those restless nights. It is packed with technology that helps you get the best sleep possible by doing more than any sack of down ever could. It has an anti-snore feature that vibrates and gently nudges the offending snorer into a different position in hopes of ending the awfulness. It also features eight in-pillow speakers that play music from a connected smartphone (only the head on the pillow can hear the music). Meanwhile, it also features a host of sensors that analyze data, giving users suggestions on how to improve the quality of their sleep. In addition, it comes with a timer (so your music doesn’t play all night), has an alarm clock to get you up and moving, and is smart home-compatible. Hey Alexa, order me more of these $199 pillows from rem-fit.com.
Kohler’s Konnect
So let’s say you’ve decided to pull yourself out of bed even though you had Enya softly playing through your pillow, and you want to jump in the shower. Kohler is now offering a line of appliances that work with Alexa in order to help you avoid that pesky action of turning things on. Just say, “Start my morning shower,” and automatically your shower turns on to your preferences (temperature, steam, lighting, etc.). Or, “Fill the tub.” They even have the Verdera Voice Lighted Mirror that has Alexa built in so that you can control the lights or add cotton balls to your shopping list. And even though they also have a new kitchen sink called Sensate, which lets you ask for specific measurements of water hands-free (“Pour me 8 ounces of water”), the real winner here is the Numi Intelligent Toilet. Aside from being gorgeous (yes, a gorgeous toilet), it senses your approach and automatically opens, begins gently blowing warm air on your feet and heats the seat. In addition to having the ability to play music, it also has a bidet and ambient lighting—because how could it not? Available through your home professional.
Watch strap SGNL
In a slightly less personal vein is wearable technology. It has been stagnated with Fitbit-like devices for years, but SGNL, an electronic watch strap, is a very slick device that has finally brought the future to your wrist. Launching later this year, the $249 Bluetooth strap works with smartwatches, traditional watches as a strap, or simply used on its own. Get this: When you receive a call, it transmits sound vibrations through your hand to your fingertip, which you place on your ear (like a Secret Service agent protecting the president—assuming they do that anymore). That’s right. You are hearing the call through your finger. It might be crazy because you could just use ear buds or other in-ear hearing devices, but one thing is for sure: As long as you are using this thing, no one on the street is going to mess with you. mysgnl.com
FoldiMate
If you hate folding clothes, congratulations—that means you’re still among the living. It’s a thankless job appreciated only by the truly OCD among us. Personally, I spend 17 to 19 hours each week folding clothes (that’s an approximation that feels true) and would love a break. Luckily, German appliance manufacturer BSH and laundry-folding robot designer FoldiMate (who knew that was a thing?) are about to make our lives easier with a machine that folds your clothes for you. True, this will be the case of a robot stealing the job from another hardworking American, but they didn’t want to be doing this anyway. For $980, I plan to get one as soon as they become available and look forward to having the time to start a family, find a hobby or even start reading those Harry Potter books I’ve heard so much about. foldimate.com
Multi-view screening
Let’s say you just bought a small beach condo on Sanibel. You love big-screen TVs, but there’s just not room for two of them in the space, and you and your significant other don’t want to watch the same things. (You love food shows; he or she loves slasher films.) Mirraviz’s MultiView Home Entertainment System lets viewers watch multiple high-definition videos all on the same screen, with the image changing entirely based on the angle at which you’re sitting. So you could be watching Modern Family while your spouse plays Call of Duty just inches from you on the same 75- or 94-inch screen. You’ll obviously want to wear headphones so the room doesn’t sound like an asylum, but that’s a small price to pay to remain close to someone you have nothing in common with. mirraviz.com
Spectrometer
This is as close to a Star Trek piece of equipment as has come out in a long time. The LinkSquare Spectrometer can tell you if food is spoiled, disclose just what type a beverage is and even identify medication with just a touch. It uses near-infrared light to detect something’s molecular makeup. For example, is this fish fresh or spoiled? Is this blue pill a Viagra or a holiday Tic Tac? And what about this diamond? Is it real? Just touch the spectrometer to an object and it can tell you what it is, when you have no clue. It’s truly remarkable and just $299. linksquare.io
I’m dangerously close to naming a future child “Elroy.”